We are aware that as parents we often make mistakes even if we are not fully aware of them. These mistakes seem to be especially delicate in parents of teenagers. During this period, children rapidly grow and mature, and parents sometimes forget that their old parenting methods are no longer effective. Together with the growth of the children, you can also notice that your relationship has received new dimension, and since they are changing so fast, you often do not seem to follow all those changes, and you might be confused on how to productively approach to your teenager.
Defects in the approach the teenagers can have long-term consequences and even undermine the relationship and trust build. Here are the most common mistakes in parental approaches adolescents:
Treat them as your equal
Sitting teenager in front of you and hold a lesson in life, behavior or something else will not be effective. Accessing your teenager in statement that you are authority and therefore, the smartest and know best is completely counterproductive. Children at this age think of themselves as fully grown and reject any form of lecture. Constructive dialogue, exchange of opinions and views, and negotiations are the best way to raise the matter with teenagers, omission or misconduct. Talk to your teens as an equal and you will be surprised with the result.
Do not support their irresponsible behavior
There are certain behaviors that we often take for granted in teens: sleeping late or missing the classes. Many parents believe that this is just phase through which children must pass. However, in this way they only show that they approve their children ignoring their obligations and responsibilities. Parents need to respond to the irresponsible behavior.
Sudden, severe and exclusive punishments in this age are not very effective. You may be able to solve the problem with some sentences in a short term, but in a long term your child might feel the need to defy, and you might find yourself in a closed circle, which may result in a larger and more serious problem. Talk to your child and agree on where the limits are. Together define the consequences and hold to your agreement. If you both know in advance which are the result of breaching your agreement, the chances are your child will probably not break the agreement. It is proved that this method is extremely effective.
Always set reasonable goals for your child. The expectations that you have for the child must always be in accordance with their abilities and qualities. If you expect excellent success a child who has learning difficulties, you have to be aware that you have to help your child by providing them additional help. Even so, the expectations from your child should never be at the maximum.
Be careful with critics
Do not criticize your children too much. Criticism and pointing out the negative factors can only aggravate the situation. Instead, first bring out the positive side of the story, and then point to failures.
Communication is the key
Lack of communication often results in the development of sharp attitude and undesirable behavior of children. Therefore, daily communication with teens about everyday things is not only welcomed, but advised for a healthy relationship between you and your child.
Monitor their online activities
Parents of teens often perceive the excessive use of the Internet as inevitable. However, stay tuned. Give them space, but follow the pages they visited. A variety of content that is not suitable for children is available on the Internet to everyone. Discuss with your child and instruct him in danger and pitfalls that it hides.