While we would all like that when you have already entered the marriage, we stay in the marriage, as said, happily ever after. But making the marriage completely functional can be very hard work, especially if the conditions is the marriage are not as perfect as you might wanted them to be. According to researchers conducted, two out of three marriages end in divorce.
After these sad facts the question remains: what is it that married partners do wrong, and what are those key elements that need to be done in order to maintain a healthy and long-lasting marriage, for what all married partners do aspire?
It is not a news that divorce has increased during the last years, while in the (near) past, ending a marriage was not so common thing. We have to ask ourselves, is that due to the fact that the divorce was believed to bring great disgrace, or did our elderly really knew the secrets of a good marriage?!
According to the experience of a large number of couples, and based on the knowledge of many marriage counselors and sex therapists, we bring you seven main advices for maintaining a successful marriage. These are: communication, persistence, problem solving, maintaining the passion, right to partners own life, respect and fun.
Although this “tip” sounds rather easy, it is considered that the lack of good quality communication is the number one problem within the marriage. Lack of communication and poor quality of communication are a common problem. Truly listening, understanding and having empathy are also part of the communication, not just merely talk.
Nowadays it seems that it is much easier to give up on something than do our best to fix the problem, even when that “something” includes your own marriage. Perhaps it sometimes seems that there is no apparent solution, but if you do not try you will not even reveal whether the situation can get better. Bear in mind that each relationship requires a lot of work. We learn on our own and on other people’s mistakes. But it is always better to learn on others people’s mistakes, and not being the “negative” example. Do not give up and you both should give your relationship “one more chance”, over and over again.
When something in your marriage is “not right” the easiest thing would be get into an argument, shout, and blame the partner. But you have to ask yourself, how productive is that behavior?! Problem solving is something that should eventually be learned. Give yourself time to think carefully about everything, talk and listen to partners. Accept your mistake if there is reason and apologize. Only in that way you both will grow as persons, and create better marriage.
Maintenance of passion
The biggest difference between the ‘new’ partners and people who have been together for longer time is the lack of passion. But there is no reason to be so. As we said, the connection has to be constant and the maintenance of passion also. Experiment, take time for each other, and most importantly – talk about it.
Once you find your perfect soul mate, it is very easy to neglect your own needs. Avoid this. We do not imply the selfishness, but by “own life” we do consider the activities that make you happy and help you relax: hanging out with friends, various hobbies … It is important that both have time for yourself and some of my own pursuits. You do not have to do everything together.
When you’re with someone for a long time, the fact is that you start taking that person for granted. It often happens that we behave with the partner in the manner that would not act with anyone else. This occurs partly because we do not know anyone so profoundly and we are not as close to anyone as to our partner. But just imagine that one of your neighbors can hear you talk or see how you behave. Would you be embarrassed?! So be careful how you behave to your partner. Treat partner as you would like him to treat you. And remember, we all want to be loved and respected for who we are.
The fact is that you occasionally need to go out and have fun with your friends, but do not forget the fun with your partner. It is easy to forget to have fun when you live with someone and watch that person daily. You need to continue with all those activities that were fun at the beginning of your relationship, on order to remember why did you married that person, if you do occasionally need remembering. Have fun together and spend quality time, relax with things that make you both happy.