Getting over the breakup is a long process to be followed, which is not easy. For the struggle of getting over the break-up is necessary to go through loss, grief and finally learn from what went wrong for the sake of future relationships.
Allow yourself to grieve
The feelings you feel after a break are terrible, there is no doubt. And do not think that feelings of anger, sadness and denial are something unusual. This is all perfectly normal. But instead of ignoring and repressing those feelings, the best thing you can do for myself is to surrender to those emotions for certain period. Do not be afraid or ashamed to cry frantically, to drown your sorrows in ice cream or whatever you fell for – just do not try to suppress those feelings.
Do not torture yourself
The problem with the ugly break up is that you will never find the answers to all the questions that may affect you. You imagine a million different situations and how things might otherwise have played.
Do not spend time thinking about “what it would be, that was or when it would be” about why he hung up, sending him text messages to your own… If you or the partner made it clear that the relationship is over, admit it was over and turn to the future.
Stop any contact
The only way to truly get over someone and continue normally live your life is to stop any contact with the ex partner and remove any reminders of that person.
And that means it’s time for cleaning; no telephone calls, no Facebook, no communication, no buts. Stop reliving your relationship in conversations with your friends. Remembering the old days of “glory” will not help you, but can do the opposite. Make sure to remove everything that reminds you of your ex. This also applies to a small picture that you carry in your wallet or keep it on your cell phone.
If you cannot bear to throw all that is his – pack everything in a box and hide somewhere where you cannot easily get to it – if possible, keep the three rabid dogs next to the box that will not allow you to come close to the box.
Rediscover yourself
This is a cliché, but it’s true – when entering into a relationship we leave behind pieces of your single life. While it may be good that some aspects of that life are saved in the past where they belong, there are occasional things that you want to recall.
It is time to finally dare to one hairstyle or color you always wanted but have not done so because your partner felt that it was not a good idea, go shopping for new clothes and then start dealing with things and hobbies that overwhelmed you before you entered a relationship with your ex.
Say “yes” to every opportunity given – for going out with friends for coffee with someone new, for hanging out with your siblings and their friends… Now is the right time to start again to go out and meet up with new interesting and fun people.
This will help you on two levels – it will serve as a reminder on how to being single can actually be a very positive and fun thing, plus, you will be so preoccupied that you will not have time to grieve.
Give yourself time
Some say the quickest way to forget someone is to move on with your own speed. If you want to relax a little bit – give yourself time to do it. Also, if you feel ready to jump back into the world dating – then do it.
No one should condemn or push you in relationship with some new, before you want it before you are ready for it. The only person who can make that decision is you.